My dearest son Ali Mahdi,
Insha'Allah, You will be seven this August of 2016. As I do everyday, I pray that you have a long and healthy life and that you are safe and happy always.
I have been missing you in a way that I cannot describe...maybe my heart ripped into pieces would best describe it. It is most unfortunate that you and I cannot be in touch because your father insists it be that way.
I miss you every single day, my baby, and the tears of separation roll down my face and onto my heart everyday. How I miss you and wish to hold you in the longest hug ever. How I long to kiss your face and your hands and your feet and crave to run my fingers through your curly locks and wonder how much they are like mine. The pictures that I manage to somehow see of you online give me some solace. That smile on your face pacifies me, albeit temporarily. I think to myself - he is smiling, so he is happy.
Ali Mahdijaani... I think of calling you everyday. But for reasons you will learn of someday, I desist.
I am putting these letters out on the internet because I know that soon, you will be able to read and try to understand the absence of your mother in your life, even if you may have a stepmother in the future in your life.
And until you come looking for me someday, I will hold on to your blankie and wipe my tears of separation on it.
And when you find me, we will talk for days on end and try to catch up on lost moments and feelings.
I want you to know that in my heart, you are my little prince, my son and there is not a moment that you are not on my mind.
Today, I was thinking of how I would give you a bath every night (you loved those night time baths) and at the end of the bath, your eyelashes would clamp together and your eyes would look like stars.... my beautiful stars. I miss those dazzling stars of mine. In them I would see nothing but happiness. I pray the happiness is always there.
I love you Ali Mahdi. Please know that I did not abandon you no matter what ANYONE tells you. No mother would do that to her son.
Just know that I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY BEING.
May we meet again very soon, Insha'Allah.
Love and duaas
Mama.
Insha'Allah, You will be seven this August of 2016. As I do everyday, I pray that you have a long and healthy life and that you are safe and happy always.
I have been missing you in a way that I cannot describe...maybe my heart ripped into pieces would best describe it. It is most unfortunate that you and I cannot be in touch because your father insists it be that way.
I miss you every single day, my baby, and the tears of separation roll down my face and onto my heart everyday. How I miss you and wish to hold you in the longest hug ever. How I long to kiss your face and your hands and your feet and crave to run my fingers through your curly locks and wonder how much they are like mine. The pictures that I manage to somehow see of you online give me some solace. That smile on your face pacifies me, albeit temporarily. I think to myself - he is smiling, so he is happy.
Ali Mahdijaani... I think of calling you everyday. But for reasons you will learn of someday, I desist.
I am putting these letters out on the internet because I know that soon, you will be able to read and try to understand the absence of your mother in your life, even if you may have a stepmother in the future in your life.
And until you come looking for me someday, I will hold on to your blankie and wipe my tears of separation on it.
And when you find me, we will talk for days on end and try to catch up on lost moments and feelings.
I want you to know that in my heart, you are my little prince, my son and there is not a moment that you are not on my mind.
Today, I was thinking of how I would give you a bath every night (you loved those night time baths) and at the end of the bath, your eyelashes would clamp together and your eyes would look like stars.... my beautiful stars. I miss those dazzling stars of mine. In them I would see nothing but happiness. I pray the happiness is always there.
I love you Ali Mahdi. Please know that I did not abandon you no matter what ANYONE tells you. No mother would do that to her son.
Just know that I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY BEING.
May we meet again very soon, Insha'Allah.
Love and duaas
Mama.
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